Last night I had a vision of a Rock and Roll Fantasy Trip. I would Head East on a Journey across America. I consulted with my friends the Doobie Brothers and the Pointer Sisters as to what I should use to take the trip. After they told me the Cars were not the best choice, I was determined not to go on Blind Faith and ride some Government Mule. Instead, I hopped into my REO Speedwagon and made my way to Kansas. It was like a magic carpet ride when I rolled down the highway with my Bachman-Turner Overdrive. Unfortunately I was pulled over by the Police who thought I was driving like I was on a Highway to Hell. They thought I had some Outlaws with me.
On the Highway to Hell
Along the way I saw all sorts of Animals and Buggles, which the Pure Prairie League advised me to watch for. Indeed, I saw Eagles, a Camel, a few Yardbirds, some Beatles, Scorpions, a Whitesnake, Byrds, and even saw some Zombies, but the best thing was being able to see the Monkees. I was really shocked when a Def Leppard ran by chasing a Steppenwolf!!!
I headed through Black Oak Arkansas and then, after passing through St. Louis, where I saw the Archies, who let me drive their Rose Royce, I headed north in the fast lane to Chicago with a quick roll by Bay City in Michigan. I had to avoid Kentucky because I was afraid of the Kentucky Headhunters.
Driving the Rose Royce like a Bay City Roller
On the way I stopped by Alice’s Restaurant to have a bite to eat. I ordered a Sugarloaf of Bread with some Pearl Jam that was made with Cranberries and Raspberries. I was then given my Aha moment when they served me some Vanilla Fudge on a dish of Moby Grape and Electric Prunes. After a cup of Vanilla Ice my Strawberry Alarm Clock let me know it was time to be movin’ on.
I continued to Boston in a Fabulous Thunderbird so I could see Paul Revere and the Raiders. Instead, I saw the Damn Yankees using Styx to shoot down a Led Zeppelin and a Jefferson Starship. Being a Sunday, it truly seemed like a Black Sabbath.
I didn’t want to Rush, but I decided it might be better to take a trip to Europe or Asia. But first, Guess Who I saw in Boston? Yes, it was the Electric Light Orchestra and I got to see them at the Culture Club. And then, someone told me, but I don’t remember Who, that when I am in Asia I should see the Trans-Siberian Orchestra. That was a definite Yes!! He then said OK Go!
I joined my friends the Traveling Wilburys and we caught a ride on the Wings of a Jefferson Airplane, which was built by Mike and the Mechanics at the Aerosmith factory. We made our way across the Deep Purple skies to Asia. The flight had an amazing meal with some Meatloaf, Korn, Black-Eyed Peas and a side of Hot Tuna covered with Red Hot Chili Peppers. The dessert was yummy too. We had some Cake covered in Cream, Peaches & Herb and then had a small Humble Pie. When we finally landed we saw people Smashing Pumpkins on the Rare Earth. Then I saw an Insane Clown Posse being chased by some Fine Young Cannibals. But it was the 10,000 Maniacs that made me realize I had to get out and begin running down a dream in Europe.
Unfortunately I had a Foreigner and some Bad Company on this leg of the trip and apparently they were going to join a Blue Oyster Cult and attend the Creedence Clearwater Revival which was headed up by the Pink Floyd himself!!
All I wanted to do in Europe was visit the Queen, but someone misunderstood and they sent me to see the Queens of the Stone Age as well as Queensryche….but King Crimson introduced me to the Kings of Leon and their son Prince. The Royal Guardsman were snooping around the whole day and made me feel like a bunch of Rolling Stones with Simple Minds. I am sure U2 would feel this way!! I was out of it like a Tired Pony and decided to look for some Motels, but all I saw were Faces involved in a Quiet Riot and I really did feel the noise. I had to get out of that place but was warned that there were Village People there and They Might Be Giants. Fortunately, all I saw was a Gentle Giant.
I had to get back to the USA and so I found the B-52s for the trip, but they didn’t give me a ticket to ride. After my Rage Against the Machine to protect against the Imagine Dragons, we headed for the Beautiful South where I could meet the Beach Boys, though one of them had a Badfinger that left them in Dire Straits.
When I finally got back to where I once belonged, I got a chance to ride on the Velvet Underground to meet the big shots of the Tijuana Brass. As a Flock of Seagulls flew by, I turned on the Tubes to see the Talking Heads. They talked of my trip and said it took a lot of Spirit and noted that I really had a Heart. And thus, my Dashboard Confession is that this truly ended up being a Green Day for it became my Rock and Roll Fantasy….and I won’t get fooled again.