Julianne grew up in Mesa, Arizona. Turns out that her house was notorious for being a haven for “sewer roaches.” This particular breed of cockroach is actually an Oriental cockroach and is the most water-dependent of the roaches. In Arizona they like to hang out in the more moist areas of the desert, breeding in the sewers. Thus the name “sewer roach.”
I first experienced cockroaches when visiting Mesa for the first time when Julianne saw one and asked me to kill it. Easy enough. But there are lots of them and I got tired of killing them. At an early stage in our marriage she made me promise to kill all of the bugs. I vowed to do so and have pretty well kept that promise.
Well, one day, while I was a student at ASU and we were living in Julianne’s parent’s house (they were in South Africa on an LDS Mission), Julianne was in the back taking a shower. Suddenly, I heard her screaming and she was soon running out of the shower wet and naked screaming, “A sewer roach just crawled up my leg!! Get it off!.” It was a horrifying moment for her. We got the roach taken care of and moved on. But, this story has become family lore and our children, having taken the prankster role as they learned from their mother, decided to pull a huge prank a few years ago.
A plastic cockroach that Julianne stuck on a thermostat at Amaree’s house during a Christmas visit a few years ago. This was apparently the real culprit that started the cockroachery.
UPDATE: After speaking with Amaree, apparently, Julianne was the one that started this by putting plastic cockroaches in Aaron’s bed when Aaron (her fiance at the time) was visiting us in Kentucky. So, Amaree and Aaron took the same and stuck a cockroach in the asparagus and Julianne apparently screamed when she saw it. The following is Amaree’s revenge:
Julianne never knows where she will find a cockroach hidden
The real culprits, as we learned later, were Amaree and her family. They had come for a visit from Montana, where they lived at the time, and they brought back an “infestation” with them. Apparently, one of the days, when Julianne was out of the house, they pulled out a bag with dozens of realistic-looking plastic cockroaches, that actually resemble Arizona’s sewer roaches. They commenced to secreting them away in diverse places around the house for Julianne to discover both while they were still visiting and then, for months to come. The “gift that kept on giving” if you will…. Supposedly, there are over 50 of them still hidden around the house…
She runs across the little critters in all sorts of places
In her shoes
In her socks
In her bath salts (notice, this one was in the “Take It Easy” bath salts – how rejuvenating!)
In the bottoms of drinking bottles
She finds handfuls
And even has collected a plateful (Yum!)
So, in 2017, Julianne decided to fight back, bug to bug, by sending cockroach pillows to each of the kids and grandkids. This is what we got back via Facebook:
Amaree now has a pet
Aaron, a sleeping partner
The Noe kids have a Noe Cockroach now
Jorge loves to eat with his…
And so does Rockwell
A whole different meaning to cuddlebug!!
One Christmas we got the perfect book to read to the grandkids:
Yes, a book about a cockroach
And the cockroach fun didn’t stop there. Amaree, in all of her creative cockroachery, found the perfect gift for Julianne’s birthday in 2018. Yes, a cockroach pillow. (I wanted to upload the video from my phone, but it is apparently too big.)
Julianne loves her Cockroach Pillow. Sits proudly on the couch (until guests come by) Blurry because I had to pull it from the video I couldn’t upload
And it like the elusive cockroaches that don’t go away, for Christmas, she got a board game…with, you guessed it, cockroaches.
I guess she will always have bugs in the kitchen…
There are even times that the cockroachery goes to new levels. Julianne got a late mother’s day gift from her daughter Amaree just last week. Just what she needed! Roach Clips!!
Julianne and her new collection of Roach Clips — May 2019
Well, in closing, I would like to add a little cockroachery of my own. Way before the days I met Julianne, this little ditty by Jack Blanchard and Misty Morgan (famous for The Tennessee Birdwalk) was being played on a few radio stations and, most certainly by one of my heroes of the late 1960s, Dr. Demento. Little did I know back then that I would be dealing with cockroachery in my future married years. Enjoy The Cockroach Stomp…
Kill Kill Kill Everybody do the Cockroach Stomp. California, Tennessee, and Louisville, Come on, do the Cockroach Stomp. 1 and 2 and 3 and 4, Stomp your partner on the floor. Squish squish. squish, squish, squish. Find a bug, Make a wish.
Christmas is a wonderful time of the year. We think of others and give gifts. The colors of Christmas are everywhere. And then there is all that Christmas music playing everywhere…from the bouncy notes of Tchaikovsky’s “Nutcracker” to the heavenly sounds of Handel’s “Messiah,” there is the old. Turn on the radio and some stations are playing Christmas music 24/7. Such is the case in Lexington, with TWO stations dedicated to all Christmas all the time in December. WGKS (KISS FM 96.9) and their 12 Days of KISSMas along with WMXL (Mix 94.5) and their MixMas both play the classics and a few more recent tunes.
KISS FM 12 Days of KISS-Mas
Mix 94.5 Mix-Mas
Though I love the classic Christmas songs I grew up with, such as Bing Crosby’s “White Christmas,” Johnny Mathis’s rendition of “It’s the Most Wonderful Time of the Year”, Nat King Cole’s “The Christmas Song,” and a couple dozen others, I get tired of hearing the same versions on BOTH stations, with little variety between the two. I am refreshed by listening to our Public Station WUKY-FM, which is an Americana format when NPR is not on the air. During the Christmas season they mingle in many fun renditions of Christmas tunes not typically heard on the pop stations such as a recent version of “You’re A Mean One Mr. Grinch” by Aimee Mann.
But, I have my own “eclectic” mix of Christmas favorites (mingled with some of the classics I hear on the 24/7 stations). I have a 1 TB Hard Drive dedicated to my MP3 collection (nearly 100,000 mp3s) and, within that is my collection of over 4000 Christmas songs ranging from the 1940s to the 2010s. Following are some of my favorite albums and tunes from over the years….
SOME OF MY FAVORITE CHRISTMAS ALBUMS (in no particular order)
Gary Hoey is a fine rock guitarist. His remakes of some classic rock songs are fabulous, but his rocking versions of Christmas classics became so popular that he now has four albums. Definitely worth a long listen on a snowy winter night!
Founded by rock producer, composer and lyricist Paul O’Neill (who has managed and produced bands such as Aerosmith, AC/DC, Joan Jett and the Scorpions) in 1996, he, along with members of the rock band Savatage created a music spectacle of classical music melded with rock music and then a stage show that beats ALL stage shows (and I have seen them perform). The band has a Christmas trilogy and all three of their Christmas albums are classics!
Brian Setzer was the brains behind the new wave rockabilly group The Stray Cats. He broke out on his own with the swing band Brian Setzer Orchestra and has three rockin’ Christmas CDs that’ll surely get you up and dancing!
Chicago has been one of my favorite groups since its beginnings in the early 1970s. In 2005 they released their first Christmas CD and a second one was released In 2011. These CDs offer the fresh sounds of Christmas with the bands famed horns and alluring vocal arrangements. Great music for a hot chocolate and nice fire in a snowy December evening.
The A Capella group Pentatonix took the Pop world by storm after winning the TV show “The Sing Off.” This group of five has made A Capella an “in” thing with unique videos of renditions of favorites from three decades. Their Christmas CD is amazing and their videos are too.
Mannheim Steamroller was the creation of composer/record producer Chip Davis (who was also the creator of the famous 70’s era song “Convoy” by a made up artist named C.W. McCall. After a few albums albums that contained a blend of baroque classical music, light jazz, and rock, he forged ahead in 1984 with his first Christmas album called a Mannheim Steamroller Christmas. The band has since produced a number of Christmas albums and, like Trans-Siberian Orchestra, they tour the country during the holiday season with live shows.
Herb Alpert was an iconic name in the 1960s with his Latin-flared mariachi-style music. He had a string of hits and later made it possible for him to create the record label A & M (the A was for Alpert and M for partner Jerry Moss). A & M signed groups such as the Carpenters. His Christmas album from 1968 remains a classic in my books!
I have always loved Dr. Demento (and I even have an autographed photo and a personalized iPod greeting from Dr. Demento!!) Having grown up a big fan of Dr. Demento in the 1970s, I have grown to love these “classics,” which I am noting below
SOME OF MY FAVORITE NOVELTY CHRISTMAS SONGS (in no particular order)
I am such a big fan of novelty Christmas songs that I am including some below. Yes, I still love many of the classic songs, but these Christmas Novelty classics are always fun!!
Grandma Got Run Over by a Reindeer by Elmo and Patsie
Written by Randy Brooks, the song was originally performed by the husband-and-wife duo of Elmo and Patsy Trigg Shropshire in 1979. In the lyrics, a family matriarch gets drunk from drinking too much eggnog and, having forgotten to take her medicine and despite warnings from her family, staggers outside into a snowstorm. On her walk, she is trampled and killed by Santa Claus and his reindeer. Always a fun laugh.
I Want a Hippopotamus for Christmas by Gayla Peevey
“I Want a Hippopotamus for Christmas” is a Christmas novelty song written by John Rox (1902–1957) and performed by Gayla Peevey (10 years old at the time) in 1953. Peevey was a child star from Ponca City, Oklahoma (and yes, I have been there!!). When released nationally by Columbia Records, the song shot to the top of the charts and the city zoo acquired a baby hippo named Matilda. It is a Dr. Demento Christmas staple, and is currently available on Dr. Demento’s The Greatest Novelty Records of All Time Vol. 6: Christmas.
All I Want for Christmas Is My Two Front Teeth by Spike Jones & His City Slickers Band
This song was written in 1944 by Donald Yetter Gardner (1913-2004) while teaching music at public schools in Smithtown, New York. He asked his second grade class what they wanted for Christmas, and noticed that almost all of the students had at least one front tooth missing as they answered in a lisp. Gardner wrote the song in 30 minutes. The song was originally recorded by Spike Jones & His City Slickers on December 6, 1947, with lead vocal by George Rock and was released on a 78 RPM recording.
The Twelve Gifts of Christmas by Allan Sherman
Allan Sherman was an American comedy writer and television producer who became famous as a song parodist in the early 1960s. His first album, My Son, the Folk Singer (1962), became the fastest-selling record album up to that time. His biggest hit single was “Hello Muddah, Hello Fadduh“, a comic novelty in which a boy describes his summer camp experiences to the tune of Ponchielli’s Dance of the Hours. His Twelve Gifts of Christmas was released in 1964 and skyrocketed up the charts. Sherman, who was Jewish, made it really fun!
You’re a Mean One, Mister Grinch by the Whirling Dervishes
I started off with a cover of the Grinch and am gonna finish with the same. I love the song and the Whirling Dervishes do it great! They were an alt-rock band from Westfield, NJ, that was big locally through the late 80s-early 90s.
I have always loved humor. It always makes me feel better. There are studies that argue strongly that happiness and laughter are natural immune boosters (see this one). In fact, before you continue with this post, enjoy the following video from Belgium entitled “Merci!” produced and directed by Christine Rabbette in 2003. If this doesn’t give you a chuckle and keep you smiling for a while nothing will. The man laughing in the video is Belgian comic Jan Hammeneker. I love this piece!!
Though always one for fun, I have always sought for laugh inducement, whether it be Dr. Demento in the early 1970s to the Blues Brothers or Steve Martin comedies in the movies and TV. One of my favorite “immune boosters” is the Marx Brothers. I was first introduced to them in the 1970s and totally embraced the world of Punnishment (using puns…). Then in the 1980s I got to embrace FUNdamentalism via the great Swami Beyondananda. Finally in the 1990s I got to Enjoy the Ride of the Way Cool World of Singer/Songwriter/Humorist/Artist/Author Antsy McClain. I have never looked back since and humor keeps me alive, happy and well.
The Marx Brothers – I’d Never Join a Club That Would Have Me as a Member
The Marx Brothers
I was officially introduced to the Marx Brothers and their antics while I was a senior at Murray High School in Utah. Like many others my age I had grown up watching the Three Stooges on TV and had seen some Laurel and Hardy shows and had even seen some of the Marx Brothers skits (and all about slapstick). But the real impact happened when I joined my friends at the Blue Mouse Theater in downtown Salt Lake City (which closed around 1987). This arts-centric theater showed a number of old movies, hosted the Rocky Horror Picture Show, etc. During 1974 they hosted a number of Marx Brothers movies on the big screen. We went and had a blast. In fact, though already a good punster, my punning skill level zoomed to new heights after watching Groucho Marx and his verbal antics. To this day I have been known to repeat many of his famous one-liners such as the following:
I have a mind to join a club and beat you over the head with it
Time flies like an arrow; fruit flies like a banana
Whatever it is, I’m against it
I would never join a club that would have me as a member
While in my pajamas I shot an elephant. What it was doing in my pajamas I’ll never know.
Click here to visit a great page of Groucho’s one-liners. And even more are here!
Then there is my favorite quote from Chico Marx in “A Night at the Opera.” It’s a scene where they are discussing terms of a contract. This is one of my all time favorites!!
The contract scene between Driftwood (Groucho) and Fiorello (Chico) (“the party of the first part …”) is telling of my kind of humor (and have used the punch line myriads of times:
Fiorello: Hey, wait, wait. What does this say here, this thing here? Driftwood: Oh, that? Oh, that’s the usual clause that’s in every contract. That just says, uh, it says, uh, if any of the parties participating in this contract are shown not to be in their right mind, the entire agreement is automatically nullified. Fiorello: Well, I don’t know… Driftwood: It’s all right. That’s, that’s in every contract. That’s, that’s what they call a sanity clause. Fiorello: Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha! You can’t fool me. There ain’t no Sanity Clause!
Here is the actual video clip:
Swami Beyondanda – Take Humor Seriously, and Seriousness Humorously
In the 1980s I was introduced to a book entitled “Driving Your Own Karma: Swami Beyondananda’s Tour Guide to Enlightenment ” by Swami Beyondanda. My step dad had it and thought I would enjoy it. This book had me in stitches from the first page, but I was also impressed about the “self-help” content intertwined with it. The Swami uses puns and humor to actually work towards this self help. It was my first venture into FUN-da-Mentalism where the effort is on more FUN and less mental. Or, as the Swami says on his site: He has “held forth on topics such as “Everything You Always Wanted to Know About Sects” (“… unbridled sects can lead to unwanted misconceptions …”), “Teach Your Dog to Heal” (“… being around friendly canines generates healthy hormones called puptides …”), “Tantrum Yoga” (“… the latest rage on the path to ire consciousness”), and “Be There Now, Swami’s ultimate take on bi-location” (“… the first time I stepped outside my body, I was beside myself with excitement …”).
The Swami is the alter ego of Steve Bhaerman, an internationally known author, humorist, and workshop leader. For the past 23 years, he has written and performed as Swami Beyondananda, the “Cosmic Comic.” Swami’s comedy has been called “irreverently uplifting” and has been described both as “comedy disguised as wisdom” and “wisdom disguised as comedy.” One of his many mantras is “It’s time to take humor seriously, and seriousness humorously.”
The Swami teaches the ancient art of “Foo Ling” — where people use laughter as a tool to enlighten up their own lives, and the lives of those around them. And one of the best ways to multiply healing laughter is to celebrate those moments when laughter leads to a breakthrough — what the Swami calls moments of “Fool-Realization“.
I first met Antsy McClain (this is his stage name) in 1993 in Kentucky. We worked together at an auto parts production plant as Japanese interpreters. I was away from family, who stayed back in Arizona and Antsy too worked away from family on this limited time contract position. It was during this time that we discovered a shared love of humor and music. It was soon after that Antsy had left the company and had coupled with a friend to form the “Trailer Park Troubadours,” a musical group with a bit of a goofy “schtick”. Over the years I have worked with Antsy, managing his website, working concert shows, producing some of his videos, doing some of his photography (like the one above), sometimes touring and even singing with him on stage. (See my “History of the Troubs” for more on the group). Antsy is not only an amazing musician, but is a noted professional artist and has published a number of books. If I die before he does, I want him singing at my funeral!!! Many of his earlier songs were quite funny, but over the years he has also developed some serious leaning, yet inspiring songs. One of the more humorous videos that I produced for him was that of “The Bathroom Songwriter (clink link below)
I did this for him in 2008 and have a number of his other videos on my YouTube Channel. Antsy’s unique humor and his famed “Antsyisms” have kept thousands of fans happy. If I ever have a down day, I just need to pull out “Trailercana” or “Way Cool World” and may day is brightened.
Resisting Enlightenment in 12 Easy Steps by Antsy McClain
Between Antsy’s music, art and writing, he helps us to learn about “another code of living – the Aluminum Rule: Thou Shalt Enjoy the Ride”, he helps men learn that the three most important words they can say to their wife are “I Married Up” and teaches us that “a burden is small ’til you feed it” and so we need to “Let the Little Things Go.” His amazing use of double entendre in his songs mixed with some humor and inspirational thought has endeared him to 1000s who now call themselves “Flamingoheads.” He always can sing “A Happy Song” to make me happy.
So, I try to take my laughter pills every day to keep me smiling, reduce stress and even help others around me have a brighter day. This is what keeps me “Awesome, but getting better”
If Swami Beyondanda can don a funny colored wig, so can I……