52 to 40: My Wife is a Superhero

As many of you know, I work in the Superhero business. I know superheros.  And Julianne has proven time and again that she is a superhero. In fact, sometimes she is Captain Marvel. Other times she is Wonder Woman. All times she is Supergirl.

Though I have a number of examples from our 40 years together, perhaps the greatest superhero story took place in the summer of 1987.
I had been working on my PhD at Arizona State University (which I never completed) and an amazing opportunity came before us. The Japanese Government began an “internationalization” program called the Japan Exchange and Teaching Program (JET Program). They had two courses…one as an Assistant English Teacher (AET) and the other as a Coordinator for International Relations (CIR). I applied for the CIR position and was accepted and sent down to Oita Prefecture to work under Governor Morihiko Hiramatsu.

Here I am working as an interpreter with Governor Hiramatsu on the right and then British Foreign Minister Sir Geoffrey Howe on the left

Though that in itself offers many stories, there is the backstory that I want to tell here.
In July 1987 I headed to Japan for Orientations and training, etc. I wasn’t coming back due to my aggressive schedule with the JET Program. That left Julianne alone with our four young children and the arduous task of packing and prepping to leave for a faraway and strange country with an open-ended return timeline. She would follow me to Japan in late August.

The family in Japan in 1987

As if all of the packing wasn’t superhuman enough, she still had to travel to Japan with four children, all aged seven and under, for a nearly 18 hour trip, through Seoul, Korea and then to Fukuoka, Japan.  Unfortunately, her flight got delayed and arrived late into Seoul.  Tired and most likely frazzled, she was shuttled to a hotel in downtown Seoul Korea where she had to spend the night and then get up very early to catch the next flight out to Japan.

Julianne is a Wonder Woman!

Those were the days before cell phones, online flight tracking, etc. And, she was also strapped with the language barriers.  It was a real challenge for her, but Wonder Woman that she was, she made it to Japan, learned the language, handled the kids school things (they went to regular old Japanese public school) and ultimately became very adapted to the Japanese lifestyle and food.
There are so many other Superhero stories to tell.  Perhaps in another post.

55 to 40: The Violinist

Julianne has an assortment of talents, many which I’ll cover in later posts. Perhaps one of her most recognized talents is her finesse at the violin.

I remember with fondness hearing her play “Meditation “ by Thais every time we would visit her home in Mesa.  It was her Dad’s favorite and has become one of mine as well.  Indeed, in my mind, it is Julianne’s Theme Song.

Julianne grew up in a family that emphasized music and began the violin in the fourth grade. By high school she was a very talented violinist and,.  She was in the Mesa Symphony.  She went on to Northern Arizona University on a music scholarship.  Later, she played in the Mormon Youth Symphony and the Utah Valley Symphony in Provo, Utah.  It was during her time in these two that I met and eventually married this talented musician.

Julianne playing violin for daughters Amaree and Marissa in the 1980s. Featured in a newspaper in Mesa, AZ

Julianne has played violin for many family, church and social functions

We eventually moved to Flagstaff, where I attended college.and Julianne was able to play in the Flagstaff Symphony Orchestra. Ironically, at that time, a violinist named Daniel Mason was the concertmaster. In the 1990s, after moving to Kentucky, it turns out that Daniel Mason had become an Associate Professor of Violin at UK and Julianne took lessons from him.  Such a unique small world it is!

Julianne performing with her daughters, including Chelsea on the violin.  Christmas 1999

Due to Julianne’s love of music and the arts, her talents have carried on to two generations as her children have taken on musical talents and then passed them down to their children as well. Our oldest daughter Amaree graduated from UK with a music degree and is now conducting choirs and teaching piano in Washington. Marissa was an All-State Singer. Chelsea played the violin in high school and has since taught herself guitar and piano. Seth performed in choir in high school and was in the men’s choir at UK. He too has taught himself guitar. Solomon also has a fine singing voice, though his real talent was art (as was Marissa’s).

Amaree conducting a combined choir in 2019 honoring Armed Services Day — the LDS Stake Choir from her stake, the Unitarian Universalist Choir and the men of the West Sound Chorus

Our oldest grandchild played the Saxophone in the Fayette County Middle School Honors Band and will be in the bands in High School beginning in 2019

And, as mentioned above, many of our grandchildren carry on traditions as singers, a violinist, a cellist, a percussionist and a saxophone player. Two of the grandchildren also perform with the Lexington ballet.

Our oldest grandchild Autumn has taken up the saxophone (and Grampz is happy about that since he too was a sax player).  She has thrived.
Amaree’s three oldest are all becoming talented musicians as they each perform well on their respective instruments.
I credit this love of music and the arts to my sweetheart who has sought to engage her children at every opportunity.
Indeed, I am honored, blessed and grateful to be married to such a talented musician who has dedicated much of her life in nurturing a love of music to her children and grandchildren.  This was an unforeseen blessing in my life.

Amaree’s three oldest – Kade on percussion, Livvy on violin and Charles on Cello.

Marissa’s daughter Joselyn has thrived in ballet and has performed with the professional Lexington Ballet Troupe for nearly five years.

Marissas youngest, Lyla, is also now beginning ballet and performed in the Lexington Ballet Nutcracker in 2018

 

56 to 40: The Cool Caring Grandmother

OK.  Julianne has DEAGED over the last few years.  Seems like each year she gets a year younger.  Many would be surprised that she is the grandmother of ten lovely grandchildren.  She cares about these sweet children so much.  She always wants to kiss their sweet cheeks!  She is such a COOL grandmother!

When were married in 1979, little did we know what would lay ahead on our journey.  We had hoped for a few children (we were blessed with five).  We even dreamed of having grandchildren, though a specific  number was never in our mind.  I would always just say “Children are like arrows, happy is the man that hath his quiver full of them.”

With the Matthews grandchildren (L-R: Benson, Livvy, Kade and Charles)

Julianne got to experience her first grandchild while she was in her forties.  She now   has TEN, and they are probably one of the biggest joys in her life.  She has a HUGE place in her heart for them and loves each one dearly.  She has an endless amount of kisses and hugs and smiles for them.

For this particular post, I am just going to let the photos below tell the story about this woman of love and care.  Obviously, words can’t describe the feelings like the photos do.  She is truly the Coolest grandmother around.

Fun with the Noe grandchildren…Lyla, Jos and Landen

Having a ball with Rockwell Kravetz

Always kissing those sweet cheeks – with Landen Noe

Snuggling with Sam Kravetz

Always there for her oldest grandchild Autumn Crabtree

Love….

Caring is being there….

Who needs an amusement ride? Lyla loving her swinging time

Kissing sweet cheeks again…this time with Benson Matthews

Sam and RockE like cuddling with Grandma

Sometimes the grandkids kiss Grandma’s Sweet Cheeks!

Nothing look a good snuggle with Livvy Matthews

Fun on the South Carolina coast

One of her favorite photos…Julianne with young Autumn

 

58 to 40: She is fun-loving

Julianne is fun-loving.  In fact, I might even say she can be goofy at times, but NOT in the Post Title (of course).  Our daughter Amaree even has nick-named her “Nuttiness.”  And sometimes it fits.

Julianne is not obnoxious.  She is also not very outspoken or gregarious (like her husband).  But, she has a goofy side.   I think that our children picked up their “goofy” sides from her.   I am just not as goofy…or am I?

Typical fun with Julianne photobombing

Dracula Teeth

One of my first memories of her goofiness was when she was having a Reese’s Peanut Butter Cup and then put the brown wrapper over her teeth. Or the “Orange Peel Smile.”  One time our daughter caught her using spaghetti to make Dracula teeth…

She has done funny teeth things with pistachio shells too.  You never know what she may come up with.

I got the biggest kick out of her a couple of years ago when she had to create a poster for a graphic arts class at the University of Kentucky.  This poster is a prime example of her “creative goofiness.”  I had to include it here.  She did ALL of the art work…including the characterization of herself from actual photos….

Julianne is notorious for her photo-bombs and funny faces in photos.  Here are a couple of them from the past.

Photobomb 2 (upper right) — yes, the kids get it from her!

Selfie with Seth

Photobomb 3

A couple of Christmas seasons ago, we went around Lexington to take Christmasy pictures together.  She insisted on hiding her face in each one..just for fun.

Where is Julianne?

Where is Julianne?

Where is Julianne?

Always a master of disguise, she is happy to hide herself in plain site.

Aha!!!

Hidden in plain site….

It is absolutely fun being with these sweet, fun-loving, sometimes downright goofy gal!!  Love her to death (and life)!!  Life with her is Happyville!

59 to 40: She is Kind

This series is all about my dear wife Julianne. She has stuck with me for 40 years. Through Thick and Thin. For this and the following 58 days until our actual wedding anniversary date of July 15, I plan to do and “attribute tribute” a day about why I love and adore this person so much. She has been the light (and perhaps even the guiding light) of my life all of these years.

Does this mean that things have always been good?  Of course not, with any relationship there are ups and downs.  Situations sometimes dictate and the  high hills of joy can sometimes turn into low valleys of despair.  But the key is always the longevity factor.  Can we make it through the rough seas and back into the mainstream?  I think the answer is yes.

Today I want to speak of kindness.  I first met Julianne at a lonely bus stop in Provo, Utah in the fall of 1978.  We had both missed the bus.  I was enamored by her good looks.  But I was taken, both literally and figuratively, by her kindness.  We had both missed the bus.  I never rode the bus, but my car had problems.  I got there too late.  She too arrived a couple of minutes late.  I asked her about it.  She said her roommate was coming to get her and she kindly offered me a ride.  You see, it turned out that we both worked in J.C. Penney Department Store at the Orem Mall.  She in the Cafe and me in the shoe department.

Julianne has always shown kindness

Julianne didn’t know me.  She didn’t know if I was a good guy or a bad guy.  But she was kind, she offered me a ride.  (See…taken literally)  And I was impressed by her thoughtful non-judgmental kindness. Perhaps kindness is one of her greatest attributes.  She has a kind heart.  She speaks kind words.  She thinks kind thoughts.  I am grateful for her kindness.

60 to 40: Let the Countdown Begin!

I have been waiting almost a year for this day. It is officially 60 days away from my 40th anniversary of marriage to my sweetheart Julianne.

What a momentous time for us! The past 40 years have brought so many wonderful blessings into our lives and offered us so many wonderful opportunities to grow closer and to learn about life and love. I have cherished every moment, even the difficult and challenging times.

Over the next 59 days, I plan to post a different outlook on my sweet wife and what I cherish most about having been with her for 40 years. It has been a wonderful journey and I hope that it continues on for much longer.

Julianne and David – May 2019

All I want to say in this post, is that it has been a ride! In 40 years we have had five wonderful children, all of whom are, at the time of this writing, in their 30s. Four of our children have married and we have, through them, 10 wonderful and talented grandchildren, including two teenagers! In our 40 years we have lived in nine different cities, including four years in Oita, Japan. Both Julianne and I have had a variety of jobs, some full-time and some part-time over the years. Over the next 59 posts I will mention some of those as well. During the course of our marriage, we have owned 10 different cars, we have lived in 13 different houses and/or apartments, we have traveled all over the country both with our family and together as a couple. In 45 days from now we will celebrate the 20th anniversary of moving into the house that we currently reside in.

Through the ups and downs, the challenges and successes, the difficult times in the joyful times, ours has been an abundant journey. For this I can’t my blessings. I hope you will follow us over the course of the next 59 days as I spend a portion of each day celebrating The absolute love of my life, the woman and friend who is stuck with me through thick and thin over these 40 years.

A Week of Gratitude 2018 – Part 4: My Extended Family

The Bateman family (minus Paul) – including Laura, Arlene, Julianne (my wife), Kathy, Maren and Maury. I love these guys!  Not mentioned in the post, but this is my wife’s wonderful family.

We are not alone. Most of us are born into some sort of a family. It is true that some are born and left at the door of the church or fire department. But, for most of us, we are born into a family.

There are those that are born into a family whose parents stay together and they grow up with your siblings. This is the “norm.“ Then there are those, like myself, that are born and ultimately bounce around from family to family or move on due to divorce and, in most cases, have no choice in the matter because of youth.
A few years ago I became very heavily engaged in doing genealogy work. I have an addictive personality and once I got engrossed in the work I was obsessed. It was a good obsession. I traced many family lines, both through my adopted family and through my blood lines. It was a fascinating effort and I still have boxes of papers in storage.
Since my “immediate family“ consists of my wife, my children and my grandchildren, I now look at my siblings and, by extension, their spouses, as extended family. I grew up with some of them and there were some that I did not get to know until I was an adult. But to me, they are all family.
Another rare photo – the only known complete family photo of all of the Kravetz Clan – ca. 1978
First off, I am thankful for the family that I grew up with. The Kravetz family was a “Heinz 57“ type of family. We were a blended family that had basically three different families mixed in. Aaron is my first sibling in line after me and was born to my natural mother Orene/Jennierose. He and I grew up together and we lived together with Joe Kravetz after our natural mother left. Then a couple years later our step-brother Danny, who was born to a different father and mother Marge, was brought into our life and then all of . us were adopted. Danny was just 16 days younger than me. He was born with numerous learning disabilities that, in those days, were referred to as “mentally retarded.“ This is a term that is no longer used. After Danny, Marge and Joe also brought into the world Gary and Sherry. Today, I feel the closest affinity to my sister Sherry.
David and brother Aaron, probably in August 1960.

Aaron and I grew up basically as close brothers. I was four years older than he was. But we had good times together. And like any siblings, we fought. I am glad that in later years we did not fight, because I would’ve lost. Aaron became very accomplished in the martial arts and for many years taught martial arts until that he was stung with fibromyalgia. That pretty much took a toll on his body. In later years, for a little while, we did some things together. We shared and continue to share an enjoyment of 1970s rock music. But I have not seen Aaron for many years. He lives in Arizona with his loving wife Natalie who is taking very good care of him. I’ve only met Natalie twice throughout the years of their marriage.

With my half brother Aaron and my mother in the 1980s.
The Kravetz Kids with Joe Kravetz – Back L-R is Danny, Joe K and Aaron and in front is Gary, David and Sherry. Ca. 1976
At the playground with Danny and Aaron ca. 1966

As a teenager, I became very protective of my brother Danny. He had lots of struggles with life and it was a challenging time for him after I left for Japan as a missionary. By the time I had returned, Danny had been moved into a home in Las Vegas, New Mexico where he ended up living out the remainder of his life with others that also had mental disorders. He was fascinated with the stars and with UFOs. He eventually died in Las Vegas. I never got to really enjoy time with him as an adult and I’m grateful that our sister Sherry went to spend quite a bit of time with him.  As well, father Joe Kravetz, after the passing of Marjorie, also made sure to spend time with Danny into his last years.

Marge with David, Danny and Aaron in 1963 at Bluewater Lake in New Mexico.
Joe with my siblings Aaron, Gary and Sherry in the 1990s

My time with Gary was more as he was a young boy. I was his big brother who was always busy with high school in band or cross country or other activities. We did a few things together growing up and we were as close as we could be under the circumstances I guess. Gary eventually went into the service and served in Hawaii where he went through basic training. He has struggled with mental illness as well, but it has not been debilitating. He’s worked hard since he got back but still lives alone in Albuquerque and, like Aaron, I have not seen Gary for many many years though we do on occasion communicate to social media or telephone calls. He has dreams of buying a motorcycle and traveling the country on a motorcycle. I hope he fulfills that dream and brings that motorcycle out to visit us in Kentucky.

Joe Kravetz with David, Gary, Aaron and Danny in Dallas in 1964
Joe with my sister Sherry, her husband Brian and me and Julianne, Christmas 2012
David and Sherry around 2015

Finally, there is my little sister Sherry. She was just a baby as I was growing up and she was kind of the joy of my life. First off, she was the only sister I had. Secondly, she was just a little baby and I, even at that time, have always loved little babies and young children. I’m grateful that I got to take care of her for the few years that we were together there. But, as adults we have grown very close. I am grateful for my sister. Sherry has become very successful in the business that she is in. Her husband, Brian Blessing, is also a wonderful individual and I am so glad to get to know him. I have spent many many days at their beautiful home in Fort Worth, Texas. Of all of my Kravetz siblings, I would say that I am closest to Sherry and her family. And, like their name, they have been a very big blessing in my life. Sherry is a very caring type of person that my mother was. She is most like her mother Marjorie and really is very nurturing and caring of others. That was the driving force for Marjorie and after all of the children left, I am sure that she died of a broken heart and loneliness. She had no one left to nurture. Thankfully, Sherry carries on that traditionand I am so grateful to her.

Hanging with Brian, Savannah and Sherry in Ft. Worth, TX
Hanging with my sweet niece Savannah in Texas in 2017

Other than me, Sherry is the only other one of the Kravetz children to have any children of her own and she has a wonderful and sweet and charming and intelligent and fun daughter named Savannah. Savannah is just about a month younger than my oldest granddaughter Autumn and, though I am Savannah‘s uncle, she’s more like a granddaughter to me because of the age of all of my grandchildren. I love Savannah to death! She has grown up being both both musical and athletic. She plays the clarinet in band and she has become a very accomplished volleyball player. She was also very involved in Girl Scouts and I had bought mini a Girl Scout cookie from my sweet little niece. I recently got to spend a whole day with her and my granddaughter Autumn together down in Texas. We had a great time together!

Getting a milk shake with Savannah and Autumn. Hoping their cousin relationship blossoms
The first photo I ever saw of my natural father Joe Laurienzo. I did not even know of him until 1974. I saw this in 1975

For me, syncing my “family“ has been a lifelong obsession. I am grateful that I was able, at the age of 18, to finally learn who my natural father was, and even speak with him on the phone, which I ultimately did a couple of times in my lifetime. But, sadly, I never got to meet the man that was my father and he had always wanted to see his son. He passed away on December 2, 1992, at the age of 57. My life took me in a different direction. Nobody is to blame. It is what it is and it was what it was.

Big Laurienzo reunion in summer of 2017 in Cleveland.
Favorite photo with 3 of my Laurienzo sisters…Debbie, Nicole and Tina

I see a bigger picture. Individuals that are born into a “normal“ family situation don’t have that “extended“ family view like I have been blessed to have. And I am grateful for that. I have, on the Laurienzo side, four sisters and a brother. Then, on the Kravetz side, I have a half brother, an adoptive brother, and a brother and sister who were born to my step-parents. So, all totaled, I have 10 siblings. That is a wonderful thing!

Extended Laurienzo family in Cleveland at the home I grew up in…taken in 2006 (Nicole couldn’t make it)
With my sister Debbie and brother Joe

I did not get to meet any of my siblings from the Laurienzo side until one day in the 1980s when my Laurienzo sister Debbie was in Arizona on business and asked if she could come visit. She was the first member of my “bloodline “family that I got to meet. I was glad that she visited. I was thrilled to finally get locked into the family that I very easily could’ve grown up with. It was not until 1993 that I finally got to meet the others and I have since forged a relationship with them, though separated by distance and outlooks on life, we have the one common thread and that is we all shared a father named Joseph Laurienzo. When I visited them for the first time, I learned that he had always kept me in his heart and mind. On my birthday, I was spoken about and missed. They even gave me a copy of an early baby photo which had always been kept in the family to remember me. As for me, until I was 18, I did didn’t even know about this and it was not until I met them all in the 1990s that I really understood the entire scope of it all. But once I met them, the gratitude flowed, and I felt like a big gap of my life had finally been filled.

With the Laurienzo Clan in Little Italy
In more recent years, I have been able to spend time in the Cleveland area with many of my Laurienzo family members as I had become a “long lost“ brother. I have gotten to know them and their quirks and their good points. I’ve gotten to see some of what I might have become. I grasp my Laurienzo heritage with all the gusto that I can and I am proud of that Italian part of my life and honored both to know all of them and blessed that they would include me into their lives.
It has been a joy spending time with each of them at one time or another. The next oldest of the Laurienzo children, after me, is Debbie, the one who visited us in Flagstaff.  She is an avid Cleveland Browns fan. She’s an avid Cleveland Indians fan. In fact, all of my Laurienzo siblings are like that.
Hanging with three of my Laurienzo sisters – Nicole, Tina and Debbie
David and Tina in late 1990a

Next in line is Tina. She works hard at a university and has raised a couple of wonderful children. Her husband Jim Filsinger, is a great guy and I have enjoyed getting to know him as well. I look back fondly on a day that I spent with Jim and Tina touring around the city of Cleveland as they took me to a number of spots. We had lunch and we had a great time together. I have spent time at their house and enjoyed some of Tina‘s amazing cooking!

Touring Cleveland with Tina and JIm
Having fun with Joe and Mia

Then there is my brother Joe and his wife Mia. They are a laid-back and fun couple and they too have a couple of great children! Mia is also an amazing cook! Seems like I see less of them on visits to Cleveland because they are always so busy in all of their activities.

Next is Lori and her husband Anthony Gambatese. They live in the same neighborhood basically that they grew up in. Lori stays home and Anthony worked for many years and now is a historian for a Little Italy. I spent one evening with him learning all about the fascinating history of the Little Italy district of Cleveland. I enjoy reading his posts. Lori has a couple of daughters and even has a granddaughter that is the cutest thing. She is the only other one of Laurienzo family that currently has grandchildren. I think that Debbie‘s children may be next in line to do so.
Enjoying time with sister Nicole

Finally, there is the youngest, Nicole. For some reason, she is the one that I have grown closest to over the years as I’ve gotten to know her. She is a sweet person and very kind. She’s also very independent and has even built her own business right there in the neighborhood that she grew up in. She runs the Mayfield Smoke Shop and has had great success with it. It is a local gathering place for many of the neighborhood people who will get together in the back room and chat, talk, play cards and argue over the most recent baseball and football games. I have been there on numerous occasions and just sat in the back room enjoying the bantering and fun of these old neighborhood regulars.

With most of the Laurienzo family Their step-brother Edward is next to me. Nicole is missing,
Visiting with my Uncle Lou and his wife Tony in the summer of 2018

But extended family does not just stop at my siblings. It extends out to my cousins and my aunts and my uncles. I have met both aunts and uncles on the Laurienzo side and I have grown up fond of some of the other uncles I’ve had on my Kravetz side. My father‘s oldest brother Lou, my uncle Lou, is one whom I have always been very close to and very fond of. As a result of my massive genealogy work, Uncle Lou was able to eventually go to Mexico and visit some of the long lost family that I had discovered, and, through that,  he ultimately married his current wife Toni who, ironically, had been married at one time to one of his uncles, part of the Evelson clan that had gone to Mexico rather than coming to the United States. His mother Jessica was an Evelson prior to marrying Alexander Kravetz, my grandfather, who had migrated from Russia. Jessica had migrated from Lithuania and all of the relatives in Mexico had also come from Lithuania.

Kravetz family reunion in Houston in 2014…with Uncles and Cousins….
Joe and siblings: (L-R) Sylvia, Joe, Evelyn and Lou.
Visiting my Uncle Jay in his last few months in with cousin Lewis

Along with Lou, my dad Joe Kravetz, had two sisters. The older sister was Evelyn and she ultimately married Gordon Levy. They lived for many many years in Tarrytown, NY, where their mother Jessica had moved. Evelyn passed away a few years ago. His other sister is Sylvia. She currently lives in Silver Spring, MD. Her first husband was Jay Goldstein. They later divorced and he remarried and moved to Louisville, Kentucky. I had met him when I was quite young, but had occasions in the 1990s and early 2000s to visit with him in Louisville. His son Lewis is probably my closest cousin. I have had many visits with Lewis in both Texas, where he lives, and in Louisville when he visited Uncle Jay. times with him and his sister Elaine my cousin who lives in Maryland. I attended my first Jewish funeral after my Uncle Jay passed away. I joined Lewis and Elaine in mourning his passing. Though I did not get to spend much time with him, the time I did spend was joyful and I am glad that I got to know him better.

Lewis and his daughter Kayla visiting in Lexington
Spending time with Cousin Elaine in Washington DC
At Uncle Jay’s Funeral in Louisville with Marc and Elaine Limansky and Lewis Goldstein
Visiting my cousin Lewis and his significant other Ying in Austin in summer of 2018

My Uncle Lou had a number of children, most of them to his first wife Natalie, whom I also have gotten to reestablish ties with on visits to Houston, where both she and Lou and most of his family live. We’ve had three family reunions where I’ve been able to attend and get to know my Kravetz cousins much better. Most of them I did not know very well growing up. There was a large geographic separation that kept us from being able to spend much time. Uncle Lou did visit us in Montana and in New Mexico and other places over the years and so I did get to establish a relationship with him.

I did not really establish much of a relationship with my Aunt Evelyn and Uncle Gordon until I had already started college and I had to go back to West Point for a conference while working on my Masters Degree at Arizona State University in the mid-1980s. I was blessed to be able to stay at their home and get to know them better. Gordon and Evelyn ran an office supply store in Tarrytown that did fairly well. This was before big box businesses started forcing the small mom-and-pop shops out of business. They eventually retired and lived in a nice old classy home overlooking the Hudson River in Tarrytown. I got to know their oldest son Alan fairly well. In fact, while I was in college in Arizona, Alan had also come to visit us at one time and, though I don’t get to spend much time with him any longer, we did get to spend some time together during a family reunion in New York and even stayed at their home. I did not really get to know his siblings very well, which is a sad point for me, though I did get to meet them. I saw his two children when they were just young. I got to meet Alan’s daughter Shayna a few years ago in a reunion in Texas. She has now become a very accomplished soccer player and a very talented student in college. She will soon be moving on to a good job in New York. I am proud to know her and to know if her accomplishments.
In more recent years, through Facebook, I have been able to become acquainted with cousins on my mother Marge’s side and also on my natural mother’s Goldberg side.
My family heritage, both in bloodlines and adopted lines is very important to me.  I am so grateful to know of my heritage and teach it to my children.

A Week of Gratitude 2018 – Part 3: The Journey With My Family

David in 1974…age 18

By the time I was ready to depart on the solo part of my journey, at the age of 17, I had already determined a few things regarding my future. Having grown up with a good deal of dysfunction and unhappiness in my own adoptive family, I had determined that if I ever had a family of my own, that kind of dysfunction and heartache would not happen on my watch. I am not saying that everything in my family was bad, but there were many things that just weren’t right and I wanted to make sure I fixed these things for my own offspring, if I was ever blessed to have one.

Starting our family journey in 1980 in Flagstaff, AZ
David at age 60

Now, at age 62, I am thankful to say that, overall, we have had a loving family and I believe that most of my resolutions in terms of family pretty much came true. My children have not had to experience a divorce between their parents. My children were loved and nurtured and had a fairly stable family. Unlike my situation where my parents never came to any of my school activities (other than my high school graduation and later my college graduation), my wife and I strived to attend as many activities of our children as we could possibly do. To be sure, there were times where three different functions occurred simultaneously, and thus one of the children had to miss out on parents being there.  But, but if we could be there, we were.

Family in Japan in late 1980s
Julianne and I were blessed with five wonderful children throughout the first years of our marriage. Soon all of our children will be over the age of 30 and it is hard to believe that we have children approaching the age of 40. I really don’t feel that old.
My fun family!
My Wonderful Family – 1993

I am grateful that my children have had so many wonderful life experiences prior to their departures on their own separate life journeys. I’m grateful that for at least 17 or 18 years of their lives they were able to join Julianne and I on our journey as we lived in Japan, lived in different parts of the country, and had many opportunities provided for us to travel, participate in many activities and do many things that most families never really get to do.

Hanging with oldest daughter Amaree
Having fun with my second child, Marissa
Goofing around with third child Chelsea
Trying to be as handsome as my first son, fourth child Seth
Trying to remain youthful with our youngest child, Solomon
The family visiting Mesa, AZ

We have never had a “rich” life in terms of money, and that has been perfectly okay. We’ve never been dirt poor either. We have always been blessed to have what we needed and sometimes even a little bit more. Our children never did without the necessities of life and for that I am deeply grateful. My children never had to have their heads shaved like my mom used to do. She gave us our haircuts and I didn’t like it. If our children desired that kind of haircut, then it was fine even though I still did not like how they looked.  Fortunately, I believe that we were very good about allowing our children to make guided choices during their youth.

My Wonderful Family – 2012
Thanks to the amazing talents of my wife in so many areas, our children grew up to have many talents themselves. They were all musical. Most of them have been creative in one way, shape or form, whether it be graphic arts or some other form of creativity.
The whole family in prime form – July 2017!
Four of my children have found wonderful spouses whom they love and who love them in return. Those “in-law” kids are definitely an important part of our family. These children have also brought forth their own children, our grandchildren. By the time I was 60, I already had 10 grandchildren. When I left home at age 17, the thought of grandchildren barely crossed my mind. It was all I could think of to just have a wife and my own small family someday. And, I was certainly blessed with abundance. As it says in Proverbs, “children are like arrows… happy is the man that has his quiver full of them.” And I most certainly have a quiver full and I am definitely happy.
Earlier group photo of family
I am grateful for the love my children have for their parents and I am grateful thankful for the togetherness that each of them shares with one another. Like any siblings, they have had their differences. But, when we have family gatherings, there is togetherness. For us, “the family that stays together, STAYS together.” When we have issues, the children are there to discuss them and share them. They call each other, they share time with each other, they carry on family traditions such as calling and singing happy birthday. It is a joy to this old man to see the evolution of my five children and ultimately my 10 sweet grandchildren.
A composite of me with all of my grandchildren in 2012 and then again, same pose in 2017.
And what can I say about my grandchildren.? They all bring me so much happiness and joy. I am glad that I don’t have to raise them every day, so I get them most of the time when they are in a good mood. But it is a joy to spend time with these amazing children. I have been blessed to be able to spend some quality time with many of them. I’ve been able to share the adventures of traveling on the back roads with most of them. My children and grandchildren will all learn diversity. They will all know the wonders of this world. Hopefully they will appreciate and enjoy those times spent with Julianne and me.
Joined my granddaughter Autumn in the tradition of a Thanksgiving “Turkey Hat”
Fun with grandchild #2 – Kade Matthews
Goofing off with #3 – Charles Matthews
Spreading sunshine with #4 – Joselyn Noe
Bright smiles with #5 Landen Noe
Cuddling with #6 – Olivia “Livvy” Matthews
Having fun with #7 – Rockwell Kravetz
Sharing a flamingo moment with #8 – Lyla Noe
Playing (as always) with the carefree #9 – Benson Matthews
Enjoying Grampz time with #10 – Samuel Kravetz
Don’t get me wrong. Raising our children has not been an easy task either. Each of them has brought challenges to my wife and myself. Each of my children has made decisions that we did not necessarily agree with. But as we grow older, we learned to support our children and their decisions and to love them unconditionally, as best as we were able. And that love has been reciprocated back in abundance. I am deeply grateful for that.
I love playing with my grandchildren
Hanging with the Grandkidz at the Wigwams in Cave City, KY. Yes, we stayed there!
I feel rich

And now, 45 years after I had left my own home and set forth on my personal journey and traveled these many years on this journey with my family, I feel “rich“ in the abundance of family. I feel rich in joy and experiences. I have had a rich life because of my children and my grandchildren and this will be something I will be able to always have with me.

Bottom line… My life has been wonderfully blessed and that is why I am “awesome, but getting better” everyday.

A Week of Gratitude 2018 – Part 2: The Journey With My Wife

Happy Happy Happy

In my previous post, I wrote about my personal life journey. The following few posts will also include details of this journey, but will be more focused on those that have  accompanied me or that I accompanied on their portion of their own journey.

I would be remiss to not include the one person who has joined me on greatest part of my life journey, my sweet wife Julianne. So, for the purpose of this blog post, I want to express my gratitude and thanksgiving in the fact that she has been with me side-by-side on much of my life journey over the last 40 years. She’s been such an integral part of my journey, that my life would be so different without her.

Julianne Nov 2018

My sweet wife smiles with me on my 60th birthday celebration

I have written before in previous posts in this blog that we met in late 1978 and were married in the summer of 1979. That is where our journey really got started. On this journey together we have traveled to Japan, we have lived in numerous places, have had five children and 10 grandchildren.  It has been an amazing and rewarding journey together.

During this journey together, she has been strong and his been the foundation of our relationship. She has struggled and suffered through times where my employment took me away for long periods of time, but she has made it through with flying colors.
When you are on a journey with another person, it is always important to recognize that he or she is alongside with you and that it is not just “your“ journey alone at that stage. Things along the way that impact your life, will impact the life of the other one that has joined you.  Such has been the case my wife. Things that impacted her, also had an impact on me and vice versa.

All in the Family…family photo on my 60th Birthday

Julianne and David

A marriage to someone you love and cherish is wonderful, but it is not an easy thing. Some people are awestruck that we have been together for nearly 40 years. Personally, I am extremely grateful that she has been patient enough with me and my foibles and quirks and has stuck with me for 40 years. It gets a little more complicated after children leave because then we are each striving for some independence and wanting to go our own direction or pull the other one to go with us in that direction or the other.  There are no longer children at home dictating our activities and the direction of our life’s journey.

Wedding Photo – July 1979

Julianne and I began our journey together 40 years ago with many dreams and hopes. Some of those have come true and have been very fulfilling for both of us. There are others that seem to have escaped us and have gone far away out of our grasp. As well,  on a journey such as ours, there are always unexpected obstacles and ofttimes there are choices where we need to decide which fork of the road to take. Fortunately, in this our journey together, almost always we have found ways to come to agreement on which roads to take as well as the possible consequences for taking those roads and going in that direction rather than the other one.

David and Julianne in Japan 1990

David and Julianne at Corn Palace in South Dakota in 2012

Often times, hitting a crossroads, we never know what taking that road will lead us too. Sometimes there is no information other than to go this way or to go that way. But once determined, we pursued with fervor and did the best we can along that portion of our journey together. And, gratefully, Julianne has always been there by my side. Almost all of our journey together has been one that we determined we would take together whether good or bad. And I’m so thankful for

Julianne and David November 2018

her willingness to do so.

In recent years, we have trudged along on our journey together while, at times, pursuing separate paths that may have paralleled the wider path. We are generally going in the same direction, but we sometimes seem to take different paths to get there. There has been good with that and there has been the not so good as well. The course that Julianne is taking has brought her to better health. She looks marvelous and she has done amazingly well. I am so proud of her and astonished at her fortitude.  And also impressed with her youthful good looks. She is just as beautiful to me today as she was when I first met her nearly 40 years ago. Perhaps, even more beautiful, because I know her heart and I know her mind and I know her in so many deeper ways then I did when I first met her.

My Happy Place

As for me, the last few years of my journey have been challenging. I have not done as well in improving my health. It does sadden me. But I have also struggled in this treacherous economy to stay stable and gainfully employed. I’m grateful that I am able to do what I do now (which is a later blog post). But, when I hit those forks in the road on my portion of the journey, I have some times taken the more difficult and challenging roads, without knowing it.  But Julianne always supports me and helps me through!

David and Julianne – on our 25th anniversary

So, as we both pursue our own personal journeys on parallel paths in one direction, there are times where we are having our hands tugged apart. But, we have both strived to find ways to make sure that we do not lose that grip that we have with each other so that we can make it through the challenging times of being too singular individuals pursuing our own journeys while also trying to be a part of each others’ greater journey.

David and Julianne 1979 in Monument Valley

Love absolutely binds two individuals together strongly. I am grateful for the love that Julianne has had for me all these years and that she has accompanied me, and many times pulled me along or has been pulled along on this journey.

Every day of life with Julianne on this road is a blessing.

A Week of Gratitude 2018 – Part 1: Life’s Journey

Our Life Journey is a long road

As we approach Thanksgiving 2018, I have taken tome to reflect on those things that I am thankful for, probably more than I have in the past.  As a 62 year old, I have a great deal to look back on and to be thankful for.  So, for the next week, through the Saturday after Thanksgiving, I am doing a post each day to express my gratitude for the various segments of my life.  Some of what I write may be more personal than others may want to see, but to me, these are the main things I want to express my gratitude for.

Which way do we go?

I want to start out this week long effort by expressing my gratitude first and foremost for my life’s journey.  Each of us must walk the paths of our lives’ journeys.  Nobody else can walk this path. Interestingly enough, our journey is not really our own until we leave our parents and our homes.  We all start our journeys on the backs (or in the hands) of others.  And that initial part of the journey may very well lay the foundational footpath for our own personal journey.

 

We must all have our choices

Being a Christian and believing in a pre-existence and an after-life is always helpful to me in understanding and appreciating my journey.  I believe that my Father in Heaven let me know what treacherous and difficult paths would lay ahead of me as I came to earth.  I accepted that knowing as well that I would be blessed with guidance from Him along the way as well as the ability to choose which way to go.  I don’t believe for a moment that God laid out a specific course for me to take.  Rather, he set things in motion for me to take paths with many forks in the road.

I believe this is the earliest known photo of me, taken in October 1956, shortly after I was born.

My journey began in Cleveland, Ohio in early October 1956. I was born into an Italian family (my birth name was Carmen David Laurienzo), but to a Jewish mother. My father, Joe Laurienzo, was a the son of a migrant Italian name Carmine Laurienzo.  From all I know, Joe was a hard working individual.  He lived in the same home as his father on Murray Hill Road in the Little Italy district of Cleveland.

I will never know for sure how my Italian Catholic father met and ultimately married my German Jewish mother (Orene Goldberg, later to be known as Jennierose Lavender). But, I was conceived and was, at the time, the beginning of the third generation of Laurienzos to be born in and live in the house on Murray Hill Road.

The home I was born into on Murray Hill Rd. in Cleveland, OH. This was taken about 1956/57

Joe Laurienzo and Orene ca. 1956 or 1957. This is the only photo I have of both of my natural parents together.

And thus began my amazing journey.

Mother Orene and me

By the time I was 10 months old, in August 1957, my journey took a turn.  Giving in to pressure from her staunch Jewish mother (Marion Goldberg) in Albuquerque, Orene left with me while the Catholic side of the family was all celebrating the Feast of Assumption Festival…one of the biggest annual events in this little corner of Cleveland. I was essentially snuck away, never to meet my natural father, who, I came to find later on, was heartbroken.  Just a little over one year later, Orene was being remarried to the second Joseph in my life, Joseph Kravetz, in a fairly social Jewish ceremony.  They were married in Albuquerque on Dec. 21, 1958.

Photo from Joe and Orene Wedding 21 Dec. 1958

David and brother Aaron, probably in August 1960.

As a very young child, i had already experienced some major directional changes in my journey.  And this would ultimately be the way of life for me for at least the next 15 years of my life. Orene and Joe K ended up having a son together in 1960 (Aaron). Then she left us.  She left Joe Kravetz alone to raise my younger half-brother Aaron and me.

As a young four year old, I am sure that somehow I managed to blame myself for her leaving.  As for Aaron and me, we ended up with a number of babysitters to take care of us while my Dad worked. Some of them would come and go.  It was a tough rocky road for these two little boys.

David and brothers Aaron and Danny, probably about 1962

Joe Kravetz eventually participate in some single-adult parent organization (or something) and later met Marjorie Biel (nee Tudor), who had become divorced and had a young boy (Danny), 16 days younger than me.  I believe that they both married out of necessity more than love.  Nonetheless, as a young child, I was piggybacked into this relationship, which brought forth two more children (Gary in 1964 and Sherry in 1967).

Marge with David, Danny and Aaron in 1963 at Bluewater Lake in New Mexico.

Joe and Marge in 1978 in Jemez Springs, NM. By this time they were divorced but posed for this photo.

Through adoptions, all of us became Kravetz kids.  But it was a hodge-podge family.  Dad worked all the time for a drug store chain.  Mom (Marge) was a practicing Jehovah’s Witness and would take us to the Kingdom Hall a couple of times a week. She diligently sought to make sure we had a religious upbringing.  She had health issues and struggled in her relationship with Joe.  But, kudos to both of them as they made the courageous choice to stay together, despite deep-rooted differences and a great deal of family dysfunction and challenge (Danny was “mentally retarded” – a term used in the 1960s/70s). Aaron and I could be unruly.

Between 1965 and 1974, we had moved four different times to four different cities due to my Dad’s job transfers. More rocky, rutted roads for my life journey lay before me.  New homes, changes in schools, new friends, leaving old friends. It wasn’t easy for any of us.  By the time we were in Bozeman, Montana, I had run away from home twice to get away from the dysfunction…  I was ready to journey forth on my own personal journey and off of the piggyback roller coaster ride I had experienced.

Joe Kravetz and Marge, with my brothers and sister – Aaron, Danny, Gary and Sherry in 1978   This was the only complete family photo we ever had.

I will say here that Joe Kravetz and Marge did the very best they could with what was handed to them.  They both had their emotional baggage and the five children, who were, without choice, along for the rocky ride, had to learn to deal with it all, and we all did in our own ways.

David ca. 1973 – I looked this way my Senior Year too.

I had always been the prayerful type.  I believed in a God and I prayed for a miracle on many occasions.  Mine came in the chance meeting of some members of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints in Bozeman in the summer of 1973.  The one week that I spent visiting with this family from New Jersey every day set me on my own path and in my own direction…one that would ultimately get me asked to leave my home as a 17 year old in Murray, Utah in the summer of 1974.

So, finally, in 1974 I began my own journey, making my own choices on my life’s direction….both good and bad.

After graduating high school in Murray in 1974, I had to make many huge, life-altering choices.  I came to one fork in the road after another, knowing full well that the choices made at those crossroads were ones I could never go back on and “try again.”  That’s the funny thing with choices.

Working as a missionary in Japan from 1976-78

After choosing to be baptized into the LDS Church in January 1975, I had made choices to leave jobs to take on other “grass is always greener over there” kinds of jobs.  Then, it happened…  the first big big big choice.  Do I serve an LDS mission or do I take the really good paying job?  It would have to be one or the other.  In the long run, I chose to serve and this really set the direction for my life journey from then on.

Since that time, my journey has meandered in many directions.  Life has had many challenges, ups and downs and frustrations.  But it has also been filled with joy, happiness and smiles.  Bottom line, I have had a wonderfully rich life and over the next week will show my gratitude to the many things that have crossed my journey’s path.

I am very grateful for my personal journey and for those that have spent part of their journeys walking by my side on mine.

Life’s Been good